Marshall Jhon Mebble
This week has passed in suspense.  Both factions, The Dog Dominion, and The Cat Confederation, are at it hard.  With war declared, the city of Gargantuan Cat City is in the midst of decay.

Few of the original landmarks can be distinguished.  The reason?  Rotten tomatoes and cabbage heads have covered it in gooey slime.

The local authorities of cats have put a halt on the Dog advance down HuffleDuff Lane, and have sent the Dogs coming up Barkalot Road, fleeing south, into the sector of... of Weak-In-The-Head-Cat street.  Odd names I must add.

Currently, cats are invading many human homes to the east (where all humans live), and thus, rich people, think that the cats are loosing the war, and that is why the humans are funding the Cat Armory Funding Center.  Bad decision on the humans part, I must add.

However, the Dogs are still besieging the cat's palace.  The new king (whoever that be) is cowardly hiding in the bathroom, unfortunately, he has a surprise for him coming up the toilet.

The absence of my news posts is easily explained.   My laziness-err, I mean um, well, I'll skip that one.  The main reason is  because I was attacked, boycotted, and left out in the streets to die.  Yes, you guessed it, by the cats.  They attacked my recording station and took everything from it.  I now live as a broken man.  Please, donate to me.

(Commercial Break)

Alright, so, the news has happened like this.  In a series of stunning events, King Plumpcat has been removed from his throne, and placed in a big dumpster, the following is the name of the company that provided the dumpster:  Dead-Cat-Morge.  Yes, in other words, King Plumpcat has died, leaving no clear heir.

Suspicions  have come up (obviously) that the Dogs may have murdered Plumpcat, however, only recently, (two hours ago in fact) was it discovered, that Plumpcat died from choking on a hairball.  So that is that.

But, the cats won't admit it, they have declared WAR!!!  the stink of rotten cabbage heads can already be smelled in my newly-constructed recording station.  Rotten apples are lined up at the late Plumcat's palace windows, and from there, the cats have a clear view of Dog activities.

The Dogs, however, have come up with their own plan just five minutes ago.   The Dog General said directly to me:  "We will sneak in threw da' sewa's."  Very good spelling indeed I must remark.  That quote was not actually heard by me... I heard it from a slave who heard it from a soldier who heard it from a officer who heard it from a cat spy who heard it from a Division-Commander who heard it from the General.

I'll keep you posted (hopefully, if I'm not attacked with rotten carrots next week).

Marshall Jhon Mebble, continuing to believe the news heard by me (that is possible just gossip).