Layin' there like she rules the world.

And below is cat, caught in the  midst of suspicious activity, there is proof especially because of it's unwillingness to show its eyes.

Trouble is brewing, the cats (the furry flea bags) rule the country, but there bodies, so much smaller than the Dog's, let them do sneaky things, of course, because the cat's head is smaller than a Dog's they have smaller brains, resulting in there stupidity.

These were all the things I could slip past, the government of cats has outlawed free speech against them.  So my article next week might have to be saying (falsely) that cats (the despicable things) are good (which is entirely and completely a false and non-right lie).

This scene just came in.
A deeply troubled, Marshall Jhon Mebble.
New Weekly Wars updates will come out every Monday, excluding this one which will be up tomorrow.  :D
Because of the current situation between dogs and cats, I, the master of news reporting... was forced to pick a different topic this week, since no humans should here the current political crisis.  So, although I dearly wish I could tell you of the cat's infiltration of- woops!  uh, yes.

Dmail creator Alis LoudBark, a former secretary for the Female Dog Mailing Corp. invented this ingenious way of communicating, tell us more about it Alis.

Alis:  Well hello Mr.  Interview!  Hello mom!  Anyway, I am Alis, inventor of Dmail Services, my very own business.

Marshall Jhon Mebble:  Yes, I asked, in your own words, what is the Dmail communications like?

Alis:  Oh yes, nearly forgot.  Dmail's are a simple dog way to transport a message, I invented it ten years ago in another war between cats and dogs, I mean Dogs, and cats, cats must always be spelled with a lowercase and dogs with an uppercase letter and dogs must come first.  As I was saying, Dmail's could not be interpreted by cats, except for specialist cats trained in the art.  It is simply dogs barking out a form of language.  Please consider the reasonable price of only 9.99, and unlike the Cat's Mailing, Dmail Services has a free long distance plan, it only costs 4.99-

Marshall Jhon Mebble:  Yes that's very interesting- wait, did you say the long distance plan was free?

Alis:  Yes, for a donation of 4.99 or higher-

Marshall Jhon Mebble:  Never mind.  This has been The Peoples Live News, signing out.

I do not believe that the other captains are competent to take command.  To cowardly, elusive, and untrustworthy.  Where as I am brave, and can accomplish all your needs as soon as you request them your majesty.  I have no dreams in becoming supreme commander of the army like you, only your faithful servant, believe me, you can always trust me.

Kalis the Killer